After a long 11 months away from his family while deployed with the Coast Guard, James Daniel Smith was recently welcomed back home by the community before a grade school football game, surprising his two boys in the process.
James Daniel Smith has been in the Coast Guard for the past 14 years, and last month was able to come home after an 11-month deployment contract with the Navy from the Middle East.
Smith has been married to his wife, Misti Minix Smith, for going on 13 years, and the pair have two sons, ages 7 and 10, both students at North Magoffin Elementary.
While he’s no stranger to deployments, this was the first one since the boys were born, which proved to make it extra challenging, only getting to come home once on leave during the deployment and only able to talk occasionally.
“This was definitely my hardest and longest deployment,” Smith said.
James Daniel left on Thanksgiving Day last year, missing the boys’ birthdays, Christmas, their anniversary – most of the big things they celebrate together each year. He was able to come home on leave for a short time in April, but that was the only time during the 11 months.
Misti said she tried to throw herself into projects and activities to keep herself busy, but it was still really tough, with the boys worrying a lot, especially if anything in that region came across the news.
“I was asked a lot of questions I really didn’t have any answers to,” Misti remembered. “After a while, they got used to the new routine and it got easier as we went, but we were all looking forward to him coming home the entire year. I kept an app on my phone and on my son’s phone to be able to keep up with how many days until he came back.”
Misti and the boys prepared care packages for James Daniel and did a lot of arts and crafts just to stay busy and help the boys cope through the process. A few times a week he was able to call home, unless he was on a ship, then he would have to wait until they docked, but the 7-hour time difference made weekday calls about impossible since he would be in the bed by the time the boys got home from school and practices.
While Misti’s life was more hectic, James Daniel had to adjust to the quiet.
“It was extremely weird and nerve-wracking,” he said. “You get used to the hustle and bustle, and always something to do, and then it’s just quiet. It’s hard to find things to do just to occupy the time”
This being his eighth deployment and serving in more of a leadership capacity, Smith said he found himself with a different role this time around.
“I was a young buck when I did the others and me and Misti were just dating and then married, but I was young and followed others’ directions,” he said. “This time being a dad, I take a lot more into account and I’m a lot safer now, but that’s a lot more stressful. I filled myself into a father role for the younger guys. I met their parents over the phone and we became a close-knit family. A lot of the young kids called me ‘dad.’”
While the family was expecting Smith to come home at the end of September, he was able to come home 13 days early, which set them up for the perfect surprise for their boys.
“It was an idea I had, and I mentioned it to my dad, and he knows Matt Wireman really well and they really jumped in there and coordinated the whole thing,” Misti said.
Before the September 21 Magoffin County elementary football game, the Salyersville DAV and Magoffin County Judge/Executive Matthew Wireman held a ceremony, recognizing Petty Officer First Class James Daniel Smith for his service and welcoming him home, giving the boys their first in-person look at Dad since April.
“They didn’t recognize him at first,” Misti laughed. “He had grown his beard out while deployed and he had never been able to do that, so they did a double-take and once they realized it was him, they kind of lost it.”
The oldest had to go on to play the game, but the youngest stayed glued to him the whole game.
“There was a lot of looking up at the stands during the game, but he managed to do good,” Misti said. “But they won!” James Daniel added.
Now, the family is settling back into life as a family of four, again, with Misti learning to share the responsibilities, again, and James Daniel getting used to the hustle and bustle.
“I’m relearning how to be a dad, again, and how to be on a farm,” he laughed. “Just feeding all the animals and stuff I was used to doing on a daily basis, I’m relearning. That and patience.”
“When he leaves and is on a ship where I can’t reach him even if I wanted to, the fridge goes out, the dryer quits, we’re working on some construction, and just major problems could pop up and I had to learn to answer those tough questions on my own.” Misti said.
“She won’t let me carry the feed buckets,” James Daniel laughed, noting she was just so used to doing it all on her own.
As for advice for young couples learning to navigate deployments, Smith said, “You eat an elephant one bite at a time. There’s always stuff that’s going to bother you and lot of times you’ll overanalyze it, but just take it one day at a time and try not to overthink it.”
Misti added, “Try to look at the positive and even create some positives to help you get through it. Stay busy and you can’t get distracted by the minor stresses in life. Kee your head clear and you can’t be afraid to ask for help,” Misti said. “Everybody needs it.”
She also noted that she could not have handled the deployment as well as she did without her parents living nearby.
Misti is originally from Magoffin County and the couple met in Estill County, where James Daniel went to middle school and high school, though his dad was also in the military, so he grew up all over. He said he’s excited to get reintegrated into the community.
He said he’s not looking for any more deployments and is considering going into the National Reserves after next year, while the couple look toward starting a campground with a few cabins for Airbnb on Board Tree, off of Rt. 30, and just enjoy life with their kids.
